"The disintegration, chaos, rapid change, and uncertainty of our time require us to root deeper into faith than ever before to find truth and peace. We are in post doctoral programs in advanced faith formation, called to plunge into the cross and learn greater dimensions of its saving grace and power." --Loretta Ross-Gotta
posted by Laura 11:02 AM
Monday, January 27, 2003
I am one of those people who carry empathy to an unhealthy extreme. I don't really know anybody else who does, but that's beside the point. It's pathological. hahah!
Take the war for instance. I'm entirely opposed to our "war against terror" vowing to topple this huge Saddam figure who towers over the entire middle east. (And over the United States as well for that matter...) You know, I'm so scared of Saddam and his stockpiles of nuclear and biological weapons. I just shudder at the notion that he could sell weapons to his best friend, Osama Bin Laden. We, of course, don't even like oil, furthermore we hate terrorism with a cruel vengence!! Oh how I degress...
I am so balled up over the 'possibility' of war. I can't stand contemplating the horror of it. And while it would be highly American of me to simply put it out of my mind, I refuse to do it. So here I sit, reading the news and Znet, with tight shoulders, an aching back, clenched up jaw, and sore head.
Before Christmas I had been doing a partial fast. Half day with food, second half without. This with prayer for the majority who have no choice but to be hungry. I began on November 7 and ended on December 25. It was difficult. On a couple of occasions I decided to eat really well right before 3pm because I dreaded the hunger I would later experience. (If you can really call it hunger.) All the while realizing that for them, there is no choice. Hungry all day, period.
At home too, the empathy really kicks in. When I was a kid, if I had to throw up, I dizzily walked to the toilet and sat on the cold floor until I threw up. Not my kid! When she throws up, I hold the bowl. When I was a kid, if I had a bad dream and went to my parent's room, it was ~back to bed for me~. Not these guys. They got those little fold out chair beds for Christmas. Since Daddy's gone, they like to be close to me. They just do. So we all liked the idea of those little chair beds in my room, everybody cozily sleeping. Now, I usually like the way a duet sounds, but I really couldn't take their constant snoring. So... I sleep on the couch.
Empathy...to an extreme. I know somebody, out there somewhere tonight, is suffering from insomnia. I just know it...
posted by Laura 11:55 PM
Saturday, January 25, 2003
'We the people' to form human shields in Iraq:(Itallics mine)
"Western volunteers will act as "human shields" at key sites and populous areas in case of a United States-led war on Baghdad."
WWJD epitomized -HEROS in my book...
"'The potential for white Western body parts flying around with the Iraqi ones should make them think again about this imperialist oil war,' organiser Ken Nichols, a former US marine in the 1991 Gulf War, told reporters."
I wouldn't hold my breath...
"Nichols said his involvement in the human shield programme was in part "penance" for his participation in the Gulf War when a US-led force drove Hussein's troops out of Kuwait."
The last time I was really struggling with depression, I thought I'd better blog in the form of book reports rather than blog about what was on my mind. (Well, I tried!) Presently I have quite a 'Quotes Blog' running here. Again, just dealing with depression. No big deal, just a part of my life.
Anyway. I have read a couple of books this past week. This is interesting. I do not recommend these books to anyone, however I was really pulled in by both of them.
The first one, National Sunday Law, arrived in my mailbox and I couldn't figure out what denomination had sent it. It was about the end times and Revelation. I was really curious, so I read it. Mind you, I am Catholic. I like being Catholic. I haven't swallowed it whole, but all in all, that's where God has placed me. So I read this book and basically it's saying that the papacy is the beast. I'm reading this, knowing right where it's leading, pretty much anti-Catholic, and I'm still glued to the pages. Fortunately or unfortunately, it lost me when it said all people would be judged by whether they went to Church on Saturday instead of on Sunday. Like God's throwing me into Hell for worshiping M-W-F instead of Saturday! Oh well...
The other one is a New Age Book, (I hate new age!) and basically I read it because I know the author. What pulled me in on this one (I don't want to mention the title, don't want to get sued,) was the fact that I know this person, and I know she would not make this up. I believe her when she writes about her experiences with spirits, and believe that these spirits gave her the words she has credited to them.
The basic premises of this book are 1) that there are many spirit guides; and 2) that they will reveal themselves to you for the asking. I found this book both disturbing and enlightening at the same time. Disturbing and enlightening because it confirms that there are principalities and powers at work in the world and that one can even collaborate with them consciously! Still, I prefer to have a basic trust in and relationship with plain old God over spine tingling encounters with spirits that tell you that you are God. (note the capital G.)
I don't want to be God, I just want to be following Him...
posted by Laura 3:57 PM
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Motives:
"A person usually has two reasons for doing something; a good reason and the real reason."
--Thomas Carlyle
posted by Laura 2:18 PM
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Our Highest Calling:
"I am certain that when our last breath is drawn and our soul meets God, we will not be asked how much we have accomplished. We will be asked whether we have loved enough. To quote John of the Cross, "In the evening of life you shall be judged on love."
This means fighting the impulse to live for ourselves, instead of for others. It means choosing generosity over greed. It also means living humbly, rather than seeking influence and power. Finally, it means being ready to die again and again - to ourselves, and to every self-serving opinion or agenda." --Johann Christoph Arnold
Last night I was rereading a journal from 9/01. At that time the kids and I were still reeling from the sudden death of their dad (whose birthday would be today, actually.) I was real impressed with the depth in which I wrote:
"Sometimes I'm barely hanging in there. Today I was looking at a Pokemon thinking this life is just so tiring and 'not right.' The Pokemon was insignificant- I was just looking at it when I thought that."
Teach us, loving God,
To help all in need
Without distinction or discrimination.
For everyone is our neighbor
And the globe is our neighborhood.
Amen.
--Remarkable Women, Remarkable Wisdom: A Daybook of Reflections
"I have looked into the eyes of the have-nots and have seen the souls of our very own brothers and sisters in Christ neglected while you benefit from the wealth of a human nation. And while we have been "blessed" by this nation, the Kingdom blesses them, not you, with great treasures. Their smiles, their laughter carry more joy than most of you have ever known... maybe it is we, after all, who are the have-nots."
I am really looking foward to the things Jason will be sharing in the coming weeks...
posted by Laura 9:11 AM
Saturday, January 18, 2003
I've been thinking about this equation...
Our president GWB has said, "Either you are with us, or against us." 'Us' boiling down to the ones in the world with a monopoly on power, money, and weapons.
Jesus has said, "You cannot serve two masters." 'Masters' being God and Mammon. In making one's choice to love one, means automatic hate for the other.
Nine inch Nails has sung:
'God Money's' not looking for a cure,
'God Money's' not concerned about the sick among the pure;
'God Money' let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised,
'God Money's' not one to choose...
If it is obvious that those in power covet power, money, and make war for oil, what and who then do they hate? Whose terrorism is this more about - ours, or the 'real' terrorists? And why such disregard for human life - that of our own military and the lives of innocent civilians and terrorists alike?
How can we afford not to come out from among them?
Check out 'The Parable of the Good President' as told by the other Janzen.
posted by Laura 10:28 PM
Thursday, January 16, 2003
In honor of the long post I just LOST, I submit:
12 GOLDEN RULES OF ANGER
1)Being angry is an OK feeling. (my ass!) 2)When people become angry, physical changes occur in their bodies.
3)Anger creates ENERGY in our bodies which cannot be destroyed.
4)Anger can be both harmful and useful.
5)The purpose of anger is to make a person aware that a problem exists.
6)People have a choice in how they react to anger-provoking situations. (Grrrrr!) 7)People don't make you mad. You choose to get mad.
8)Anger tends to create more anger.
9)Anger can protect us against painful feelings.
10)Anger is a reaction to hurt, LOSS, and fear.
11)What people expect from others has a big effect on how angry they get.
12)Learning to trust yourself and learning to have compassion and forgiveness toward others are the best tools to combat anger. --off a freakin' bookmark.
posted by Laura 5:48 PM
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Against Apathy
"Time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of evitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be coworkers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of stagnation." --Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by Laura 1:47 PM
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Zen Saying:
Before enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water; after enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water.
The discussion on Rachel's site has gotten my dander up a bit. I may have the most flawed belief system of them all when it comes to the subject of the U.S. and what it means to be an American. I admit that. I don't know enough, I suppose. But the more I hear talk of us waging war, and the more I read of our nation's history, the old stuff and the new, the less comfortable I am living the good life here in the U.S. Believe me, when you express opinions like those, people here will virtually line up to tell you to 'just leave then.' I laugh the hardest when I read letters to the editor in newspapers that are responding to an American's questioning the 'rightness' of this war on terrorism. They respond, "Well, if you don't like it then you can go back where you came from!!" As if the writer didn't come from right here in the first place!
Yes I will go back. To quote Richard N. Bolles, author of the book, What Color Is Your Parachute, I will go back "to the One from whom we came and the One to whom we shall return." That is the Nation in which I am both privileged and proud to belong.
The Midday Psalm:
Happy is the nation whose God is the Lord! happy the people he has chosen to be his own!
The Lord looks down from heaven, and beholds all the people in the world.
From where he sits enthroned he turns his gaze on all who dwell on the earth.
He fashions all the hearts of them and understands all their works.
There is no king that can be saved by a mighty army; a strong man is not delivered by his great strength.
The horse is a vain hope for deliverance; for all it's strength it cannot save.
Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear him, on those who wait upon his love,
To pluck their lives from death, and to feed them in the time of famine.
--Psalm 33:12-19
Nothing would be done at all if a man waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault with it. --Cardinal Newman
posted by Laura 6:56 PM
Friday, January 10, 2003
I've got to quit being a smart ass.
posted by Laura 9:01 AM
Thursday, January 09, 2003
Osama bin Laden's Letter to the American People?(sarcasm mine)
"You steal our wealth and oil at paltry prices because of your international influence and military threats. This theft is indeed the biggest theft ever witnessed by mankind in the history of the world..."
Well no, uh...we stole the whole United States.
Your forces occupy our countries; you spread your military bases throughout them; you corrupt our lands, and you besiege our sanctities, to protect the security of the Jews and to ensure the continuity of your pillage of our treasures..."
Well, it is a long way to drive anywhere in this GREAT BIG COUNTRY OF OURS!!
You have starved the Muslims of Iraq, where children die every day. It is a wonder that more than 1.5 million Iraqi children have died as a result of your sanctions, and you did not show concern. Yet when 3000 of your people died, the entire world rises and has not yet sat down..."
What children?
Read more. What do you think?
posted by Laura 10:00 PM
